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Winter Jokes: What to Say When You Are in a Huddle?

Q: If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
A: ?????

Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"

Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."

Q: What’s the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Q: What kind of coffee were they serving when the Titanic hit an iceberg?
A: Sanka!

Q: What do Saami reindeer herders say to reindeer who complain?
A: "Venison!"

Q: What do you call fifty penguins in the Arctic?
A: Lost! REALLY lost! (Penguins live in Antarctica.)

Q: Why aren’t penguins as lucky as Arctic murres?
A: The poor old penguins can’t go south for the winter.

Q: What’s another name for ice?
A: Skid stuff!

Q: How do you keep from getting cold feet?
A: Don’t go around BRRfooted!

Q: Why is the slippery ice like music?
A: If you don’t C sharp – you’ll B flat!

Q: What’s an ig?
A: A snow house without a loo!

Q: Where do seals go to see movies?
A: The dive-in!

Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A: Owlgebra.

Q: What did the ocean say to the bergy bits?
A: Nothing. It just waved. (That’s an old joke from the Ice Age.)

Q: What sits on the bottom of the cold Arctic Ocean and shakes?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!

Q: How do you tell the difference between a walrus and an orange?
A: Put your arms around it and squeeze it. If you don’t get orange juice, it’s a walrus.

Q: What’s the difference between a walrus and a banana?
A: You’d better find out, because if you ever try to peel a walrus…

  1. scooter_the_squirrel_agent
    February 22nd, 2011 at 03:09 | #1

    Nice & clean jokes for a change. :)

  2. Camille
    February 22nd, 2011 at 03:09 | #2

    I gave you a star because I really laughed thanks!
    Q: What’s an ig?
    A: A snow house without a loo!
    so funny and cute too.
    (((Marigold))))

  3. faigin castellow
    February 22nd, 2011 at 03:09 | #3
  4. Ashley
    February 22nd, 2011 at 03:09 | #4

    I like them… :)

    A man and wife were driving on a country road and they got in an argument. A few minutes later they pass a pig farm; the wife, still mad, points to the pigs and says "oh look, those must be relatives of yours,"
    "yes" the man reply’s, "but their in-laws"

    This guy goes into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says, "Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?" The bartender looks at him and goes, "I’m a weightlifter and a blond. That woman over there is a professional wrestler, and a blond. And that woman over there is a champion kick boxer and a blond. Now do you really wanna tell say that blond joke?" He looks at her and goes, "Not if I have to explain it three times."

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