Opinions on My Ballad?
It’s not quite finished yet, but this is what I have so far.
A man, no courage, a coward, forever
Wanted to prove himself, but thought he could never
He only knew how to swim, so could he swim the ocean blue?
Thought this was his dream, so he bid everyone ‘Adieu’
He said, "Put the task in my hand
Sick of being a wreck, I’ll die or I’ll stand
Nothing, but myself, an myself alone
Just watch me swim, I’m sure you’ll be blown"
So early morning, as people watch
He walks down Pacific beach, hoping he doesn’t botch
Whispers of "impossible," "Not especially him"
Ignores the remarks, walks and dives, begins to swim
He said "Put the task in my hand
Sick of being a wreck, I’ll die or I’ll stand
Nothing, but myself, and myself alone
Just watch me swim, I’m sure you’ll be blown"
Thanks!
A tip:
- Ballads are written in ballad stanzas or quatrains (four line stanzas) of alternating lines of iambic (an unstressed followed by a stressed syllable) tetrameter (eight syllables) and iambic trimeter (six syllables), known as ballad meter. Usually, only the second and fourth line of a quatrain are rhymed (in the scheme a, b, c, b).
And I could see this as a modernized ballad because of its word use and structure.
Good luck.